WILL YOU BE MY SUNFLOWER Kinda Blues

               

                                                                          

Even In The Dark, You're My Light

When the sky is bright and the sun is high,

We lift our heads to the open sky.

We drink the gold and we soak the warm,

Untouched, untamed by a single storm.

But the world turns, and the daylight dies

And shadows bleed through the velvet skies

When the sun retreats and the cold winds blow,

And the brilliant colors begin to go

We do not wither, and we do not part-

We turn to each other with a beating heart.

While others wither in the fading light,

We seek the warmth of our own shared night

With no sun above, and the heavens stark,

We become the beacons in the dark.

So I give you two, so you always know;

We need no sunshine to help us grow.

When the world gets heavy and the way is unclear,

I will always turn to have you near.

Let the daylight fade, let the skies turn gray-

We'll find in each other the break of day.

Through the longest night and the coldest fight,

Even in the dark, you are my light.

-A Sunflower

It is often said that during the day, when the sun shines bright, sunflowers instinctively turn their faces to meet the sun's warmth. They follow its movements across the sky like a lover chasing after it for just one more kiss...then another...and another, soaking up each one.

But,,,

As the night fades and the sun gives them its last kiss goodbye before disappearing behind the moon, something beautiful happens. The sunflowers don't wither or close in sadness. Instead, in the quiet embrace of the night, they slowly and softly turn to face each other. Why? Because they find light in one another. They align themselves to their shared presence, finding warmth and safety in each other's embrace.

This quiet embrace of turning towards each other provides a quiet sanctuary that shields them from external chaos, yielding to the power of understanding and validation of their own feelings without relying on others. Making it safe enough to maintain a strong sense of self in the absence of the sun. You see, the sun is the physical manifestation of God's spirit. Its rays provide the sunflower light, strength, and comfort. When the sun disappears, the sunflowers become each other's "sun".  

This morning, I woke up to gray skies. Not just the clouds in the sky but my spirit felt heavy…

I couldn’t find my sun. I misplaced it. I felt like it was forever lost. I opened my blinds to see where it was but I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t feel her. So I went to the one place I knew she would be. I placed my favorite tapestry on the floor in  our favorite spot. I lit our favorite incense and as the rose scented smoke rose up into the darkness of the room, I collapsed down on my knees, closed my eyes and cried out to the one place she always runs to: Heaven…

She was in the loving embrace of our loving father. Sitting patiently by his side until he makes sure it is safe for her to come back out. But I needed her now. Not when dawn comes. I cried and I cried…and cried some more. I didn’t have the words to say, but I allowed my tears to speak for me.The tears gently slid down my cheeks, comforting me…helping me to remember how warm she felt.  As I continued to cry out in prayer, I suddenly saw her glow swallowing up the darkness behind my closed eyes. She came back to me.  God’s spirit came back to me. 

You know what’s funny?! 

I knew the sun never leaves the sky. I knew this already. She just retreats to be comforted, loved, cherished, and strengthened, and empowered  by her Creator. Then, when her power is made whole, she returns back to her throne to gently shine the healing power of God’s spirit all over my body…

To give me the same gift that God gave her. She became my sunflower. I became your sunflower. You became our sunflower. God may have gifted her to the world but you know what else? He gifted us, as in you and I, to each other. To gently face each other. To come home to each other, safe from the darkness of the world. To hold each other as we both breathe in God’s light, love, and strength to fight the darkness that surrounds us. We are a living manifestation of the promises he whispered as his spirit traveled throughout the earth creating every mountain, river, and valley. He whispered our names in the roots of each tree, so the memories of us bloom. That’s what I see when I look into your eyes. I see the prayers I whispered. I see love, strength, grace…power. I see God in you. I see a sanctuary to run to when the world beats me down. I see love in its purest form. I see a heart that longs to feel its own embrace because it sacrifices it for others. Just wanting to feel the love back that it gives. I can be this for you and so much more. So will you be my sunflower?

I know you are going through so much right now. I also know how hard it is for you to pray for your sun to shine. Just remember “the spirit also joins in with help for our weaknesses, for the problem is that we do not know what we should pray for as we need to, but the spirit itself pleads for us with unuttered groanings.”

You may not have the strength to search for the words to say, but God will always hear you. 

I love you.

Now Breathe.

Come here so that I can wrap my arms around you.

Let me kiss your tears away.

Close your eyes for me…

Our Father in the Heavens…

You are the source of true comfort and you are the hearer of prayer. Please wrap your loving arms around us as we run into your loving embrace. Help us to not hide from our own light. Help us to not abandon our gift of being a blessing, not only to others, but to ourselves. Satan is trying to create shadows that distract us from how bright your light truly is. Please Father hear our prayer. Although our rooms have dark spots, your light still shines because your light is powerful. And by your light we can see light. Guide us in how to be a blessing to ourselves. Help us to let go, be silent, and let you make those shadows disappear. We surrender everything to you father. We trust you.  Act on our behalf father. Thank you for trusting us to be safe in each other’s embrace until you become all things to us all. Please forgive us for falling short of your glory. Search our hearts God. We are trying. Please show us favor. We just want to make your heart rejoice. Never leave us. Never let go of us. We love you because you never stopped loving us. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

I just want to leave this with you. True connections require emotional safety built on love. It is said that love means giving someone the capacity to potentially harm us, yet simultaneously trusting them not to. It is an action that bridges differences and heals wounds, heavily relying on honesty and mutual respect.

Being someone's sunflower means reciprocation, appreciation, and feeling blessed to have that person in our lives. It means planting our roots to find nourishment in each other's soil...never to lack anything ever again because each other was all we ever needed.

Thank you for reading my heart. As I type this, tears are still flowing. No longer from a place of sadness, but from a place of hope. A hope that radiates as bright as the sun as a reminder: To always remember light still remains no matter how dark it gets because I will always have you. My precious sunflower.

Until the next post...

Love,

Courtney CM (Lyric)