IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE

 

"Now you have grief; but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." John 16:22

 We all have a sense of knowing when it comes to death. A sense of knowing that death is near. A person can often sense when their time is ending. But that's just a myth. Or is it?

Wait! I know what you are thinking. Listen, this is not that type of blog post. I am not about to be morbid and talk about dying. I'm here to do the opposite. I am here to celebrate life. I am here to celebrate the peace in my heart because I know there is a time when I get to rest and be renewed. I am also here to share a message for someone. Maybe it's for you. If so, I hope it brings you whatever God wants you to have. So, here it goes:

If I should die before I wake...

Don't cry for me. Sing a song of praise for me. 

If I should die before I wake...

Know that I loved you with my whole heart. Know that I tried to heal my heart so that you could have it. 

If I should die before I wake...

Know that you don't have to be strong. You deserve to rest no matter how it looks to other people.  Promise me that you will stop sacrificing every drop of love out of you. Super humans don't exist and it's past time you prove this to others. If not, you will continue to be enslaved to their desires while ignoring the cries coming from yours. Those days are over for you. It's time to push yourself to the front of the line. They have not given you the support, strength, love, and care that you need. So just take their portion, split it in half, and shower yourself with what you give others because they don't deserve it all. Promise me that you will snatch off that cape that was placed on your back generations ago. It's time to rip it apart, set it ablaze, and never create another one again. You are free now.

If I should die before I wake...

Know that you deserve to be loved from the depths of someone's soul. Love is like air. We can't survive without air and you need someone to feel that way towards you. I want love to heal your broken pieces as if the puzzle is its reflection it wants to see when it looks at itself. You deserve love that looks like your heart. A type of love that wipes your tears with its kisses. All you ever wanted was love. You have often wondered if it even has your name on it. I am here to tell you that love never left you. You always had it. You just couldn't see past the feeling of being unwanted to believe that you would ever touch it. I know you feel broken. Just know that you deserve love because you were created to feel it in its purest form. I wrote something a while back that might make my words reach your heart. I wrote:

"As I looked lovingly into her tear stained eyes

I whispered, "I just want to love you."

She looked back at me and smiled as we both backed away from the mirror."

The love that you have been looking for comes from YOU!

Sonia Sanchez once said, "You can't have relationships with other people until you give birth to yourself."  Promise me that you will look your past pain in the eyes and take your heart back from its tight grasp. This pain is like poison. It will cover you and spill over into every aspect of your life. The antibiotic is to discover the root cause of that pain and uproot yourself from it. Then, something magical will happen. Your true self will begin to emerge. You will be wrapped in a warm embrace that is planted deep in the spaces of your heart. Building a relationship with yourself will cleanse any relationship you encounter.  It starts with you. I know your heart is still trying to find out, but believe me...love IS within your reach. Call out to it and it will answer.

If I should die before I wake...

Know that I am proud of you for making space to be vulnerable with yourself and others. I am proud of how you honor your feelings. I know you feel like you are often "stoned" if you shiver while trying to balance everything for everyone...at the same time wiping your own tears because you were told how unworthy you are of receiving comfort or support. Promise me that you will look for opportunities to stab this burden every chance you get. Create a safe space for your children. Show them your example because actions are the best teachers. Their imitation  is also a lesson for you. It is a mirror to take a peek at how you show up in the world. It's often said that the way a child lives is how the parent lives. So if you want your children to honor themselves...well you should already know the answer to this.

Vulnerability is the state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, whether physically or emotionally. I know you feel like this and I understand. But...

Do you want to know my new meaning of this word??

According to Lyric's Dictionary (me): 

Vulnerability is the acceptance to honor oneself. The permission to become naked in front of the staring eyes of others to reclaim your value. The recognition of how valuable and human you are. You are worthy.

So, do me a favor. Remember this definition for me.  Act according to its plea for you to realize how worthy you are. Your feelings are valuable. They matter and so do you! For the gentle heart who belongs to this message, may it reach you in the way you need. Remember, you made me promises. Honor those promises, not for me, but for you. No regrets, just lessons. 

My promise to you is to continue living each moment that brings glory to God by being a blessing to others. 

So don't cry for me.

"I have said these things to you so that by means of me you will have peace." 

-John 16:33

So go in peace and rejoice! I love you but I love us more!

Until next time, love others by loving yourself. See you in the next post!

From my heart to yours,

Lyric