NIKKI G & ME

                                                        

Nikki Giovanni: June 7, 1943-December 9, 2024

Courtney Morton: June 7, 1982-Until

It has been said that when two Geminis meet, they often experience a strong connection due to their shared love of communication, intellectual stimulation, and a desire for new experiences, leading to lively conversations, a sense of instant understanding, and a potential for a very dynamic relationship. They are guaranteed to create magic. This is Nikki G and me. We're two halves of one heart.

Not only do we share the same day of birth, our dreams cross paths from her generation to my generation. As a poet myself, I walked through the fire of her words and saw myself in the flames. My first touch from her was in college. I stumbled upon the conversation she had with the legendary James Baldwin. Her heart saw everything through the eyes of black women while his heart only saw the struggle of black men. Hearing the passion in her voice as she defended our reality spoke for the generations of women before her. Little did she know, her words also spoke for us after her.  One drop of her and I was hooked. I searched for any poems, interviews or lectures she gave. I just wanted to feel her words at each moment of the day. It was Nikki G and me...

"I love you because I am afraid of the dark

and can't sleep in the light

because I rub my eyes

when I wake up in the morning and find you there

because you with all your magic powers were

determined that I should love you

because there was nothing for you but that

I would love you."

-Resignation

All I could do was love her...

I find myself re-reading her words as if she is speaking for me. That's the magic of her touch. She keeps you coming back, wanting more. She seems to know what I am feeling and why. Her dreams of love are identical to mine as she whispers the meaning of it to my heart so that I can recognize it. Through her words, I realize how much of a lover she was. But you know what? I noticed something else about her. She had a little "thug" in her.

Until I Had That Thug Life Planted On My Chest

"And they picked well. They picked the brightest freshest fruit from the tallest tree what a beautiful boy

but he will not go away as Malcolm did

not go away as Emmett Till did not go away

your shooting him will not take him from us

his spirit will fill our hearts

his courage will strengthen us for the challenge

his truth will straighten our backbones."

-All Eyes on U

She tattooed "Thug Life" on her arm to mourn Tupac on behalf of her generation. She desperately needed her generation to mourn for his generation.  They were supposed to protect them. He needed them to protect him. She lived her life by trying to bridge the gap between her generation and the younger generation. She wanted to show that we are all sides of the same coin. He stood for what they stood for. He just expressed it in a different way. Her love for Tupac mirrors mine. I won't go as far as getting a tattoo but the magnetic pull is just as strong. Truth is what connects the three of us like a three strand cord. Truth of freedom. Truth of love.  The truth of our people. Truth about the love of black women. Her eyes saw him as he was and she wanted others to see it as well.

Nikki G and Me...

Her transition into an ancestor stabbed my heart a few times. I am aware that death will claim us as its own, but I wasn't ready for my Nikki to leave me. But you know something? My heart is forever tangled in between her words that she left for me...for us. Her legacy will outlive death. Her legacy is eternal. Her love is everlasting. Her spirit lives on. It's not just Nikki G and me. She belongs to all of us. She lives in our houses. She lives in our hearts. Speaking of house...

I want you to leave you with her words. For those of you who aren't familiar with her, may you fall in love with her as I did. For those who have felt her words, may you remember how she felt to you. So without further adieu, here's her poem:

My House

I only want to 

be there to kiss you

as you want to be kissed

when you need to be kissed

where I want to kiss you

cause it's my house and I plan to live in it

I really need to hug you

when I want to hug you

as you like to hug me

does this sound like a silly poem

I mean it's my house

and I want to fry pork chops

and bake sweet potatoes

and call them yams

cause I run the kitchen

and I can stand the heat

I spent all winter

in carpet stores gathering

patches so I could make a quilt

does this really sound like 

a silly poem

I mean I want to keep you warm

and my windows might be dirty

but it's my house

and if I can't see out sometimes

they can't see in either

English isn't a good language

to express emotion through

mostly I imagine because people

try to speak English instead 

of trying to speak through it

I don't know maybe it is

a silly poem

I'm saying it's my house

and I'll make fudge and call 

it love and touch my lips

to the chocolate warmth

and smile at old men and call

it revolution cause what's real

is really real

and I still like men in tight

pants cause everybody has some 

thing to give and more

important need something to take

And this is my house and you make me happy

so this is your poem.

-Nikki G

Until we meet in my dreams again Nikki G. 

Eddie Glaude once said, "Love takes off the mask and when experienced deeply, it fortifies the soul and offers a cure for what ails living together." 

So my advice to you is to allow the words of Nikki to fortify your soul as she has done mine.  May you experience that same love as I did when I found her. I love you Nikki G. I love you all as well. See you in the next post!

Love always,

Courtney (Lyric)