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I USED TO LOVE HER

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                                                  "Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another." -Toni Morrison My heart once told me that "my skeletons in my closet hold the map to my freedom. They have the power to release me. All I have to do is open the door."  As I type the words that you are now reading, I am slowly turning the knob to take you on a journey. A journey of how my love for women started. A journey from a past battle that still haunts me to this day.  A journey that I kiss every night while pushing it away. Let me stop stalling and just get to it! A long time ago... I think I was maybe 10 or 11 years old. I witnessed a man, who was and still is special to me, hit the woman whom he loved multiple times. This man and I had a very special bond. We were bonded by blood, but when I saw the tears in her ...

IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE

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  "Now you have grief; but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." John 16:22  We all have a sense of knowing when it comes to death. A sense of knowing that death is near. A person can often sense when their time is ending. But that's just a myth. Or is it? Wait! I know what you are thinking. Listen, this is not that type of blog post. I am not about to be morbid and talk about dying. I'm here to do the opposite. I am here to celebrate life. I am here to celebrate the peace in my heart because I know there is a time when I get to rest and be renewed. I am also here to share a message for someone. Maybe it's for you. If so, I hope it brings you whatever God wants you to have. So, here it goes: If I should die before I wake... Don't cry for me. Sing a song of praise for me.  If I should die before I wake... Know that I loved you with my whole heart. Know that I tried to heal my heart so that you could have it.  I...

NIKKI G & ME

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                                                         Nikki Giovanni: June 7, 1943-December 9, 2024 Courtney Morton: June 7, 1982-Until It has been said that when two Geminis meet, they often experience a strong connection due to their shared love of communication, intellectual stimulation, and a desire for new experiences, leading to lively conversations, a sense of instant understanding, and a potential for a very dynamic relationship. They are guaranteed to create magic. This is Nikki G and me. We're two halves of one heart. Not only do we share the same day of birth, our dreams cross paths from her generation to my generation. As a poet myself, I walked through the fire of her words and saw myself in the flames. My first touch from her was in college. I stumbled upon the conversation she had with the legendary James Baldwin. Her heart sa...

A COLORED KINDA BLUES

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  (Image credit goes to the artist) "Listen baby, people do funny things. Specially us. The cards are stacked against us and just trying to stay in the game, stay alive and in the game, makes us do funny things. Things we can't help. Things that make us hurt one another. We don't even know why. But look here, don't carry it inside and don't give it to nobody else. Try to understand it, but if you can't, just forget it and keep yourself strong, man."                                                -Toni Morrison The purpose of my blog is to shatter the chains that connect my bloodline to trauma. With each word that strokes each post, it is a direct blow to this generational tradition. This blog is my healing journey in hopes that my legacy will act as an antibiotic to heal my blood from the poison that was slowly killing it. My prayer is that my daughter and those a...

A LONG WALK KINDA BLUES

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  Let's take a long walk around the park after dark Find a spot for us to spark Conversation, verbal elation, stimulation Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations Elevations... Life has a funny way of teaching me various lessons. It forces me to realize the importance of putting the needs of others ahead of my own. Sometimes, doing this brings unexpected blessings. If we would get into the habit of taking time to express sincere concern for a stranger, we may be surprised by the outcome. The experience I am about to share with you is very personal. Through this experience, I was allowed to get a peek of what an answered prayer looks like. I wanted, no... I needed to share this with you because it will forever be a reminder of this special fact: It doesn't matter how down or alone we feel, there is always someone looking out for us. There will always be someone who will be waiting for an opportunity to save us. Here's my story... Early one morning, I woke up...

A TASTE OF HEAVENLY BLUES

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  "Woman, if the soul of the nation is to be saved, I believe that you must become its soul."  -Coretta Scott King These words dig deeper than a two edged sword. As I sit here trying to curate my words carefully, I am met in this space with a woman who is screaming to be heard, seen, and appreciated for all of the burdens she was forced to carry. As she continues to this day to save the soul of this "nation", she sacrifices herself in the process. She didn't sign up to be a martyr. She simply wanted to be what God created her to be. I grew up around women who tried so hard to stand in their womanhood but were knocked down by the fists of this world. They were expected to be soft but be strong as mules to make the comforts of others a priority. I used to watch these warrior women smile at each other, not just a simple greeting, but as a way of acknowledging the familiar pain in each other's eyes. They saw each other. They helped each other. They knew that the...